40s, 50s, 60s, what about 20s?

I watched Oprah this morning. She was talking about why people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s ought to be happier than ever, instead of having a mid-life crisis. It is because, despite the fact that their bodies are weakening, it is the time of their life when they have gain full knowledge of what they are and what they want. And the best thing is, people listen when they speak. I agree to some extent. Sometimes I look at my Mom and I think that being 40s or 50s today is easier than being 20s now. Mentally, people in their 40s and 50s should be happier than they were when they were 20s and 30s, because now they can say, "Yes" or "No" while actually meaning it. They can be unavailable for other people. They need not comply to other people's needs and messing their mind with other people's problems. This is the time for them to get the most of their lives, do what they have always wanted to do and achieve their hidden obsessions.
But then I think, why should this sense of life ownership and awareness come in the 40s, 50s, or 60s? Can't we, in our 20s, also gain the same realization and power to enjoy our lives to the fullest?

The answer comes down to a matter of struggle for survival. Like other living beings, human struggle for survival, probably even less subtle than other animals. We take jobs that are not our dream jobs but we stayed because we are uncertain of the odds of success in other place. Even if we think we have the right job, in workplace we do things for the sake of complying to other people's wants or to please other people. Why? Because in our society, conformance is the safe way and by conforming, we struggle less and save our energy. We try to fit to the environment to survive. The aim is to make it easier for us to pass our genetic materials to the next generation. To lay the foundation for our descendant's future. How many people get marry with the thought of having a partner in old days? The first aim is usually to develop a family, to have kids. It's shortsighted plan that most people have.

And then after the deed is done and we reach our old age, we see that we have not give a decent thought for our own happiness and now that we have nothing to lose, we feel free to do whatever we please. As if we have done our obligations and now it's time to take our rights.

I might have this all wrong. Probably this is not how most people behave. But the next question remains: How do we achieve our self-liberation in the 20s? Is it possible? Or are we destined to conform, for the sake of our future, our golden age, when we then free to liberate ourselves? Or is there any other way?

Pictures from The Sartorialist.