After the holiday...

I guess this holiday brought a lot of thought to me. First, I felt a bit disappointed because I believe a friend of mine has made a wrong decision by getting married. You know how is it to feel losing your friends hrough marriages, how they'll turn into someone so different....But then I realized that we can still be friends, despite their personalities. Really, it's just networking. And that you cannot really count on someone else. This lesson seems to keep coming to me. Even one of my professor, who is also a facilitator for a soft skill training, yesterday said, "You are your best friend. It's yourself that you can count on." So I guess it is time to let go earthly attachments, even to people... That friends are just like anything else in this world, not eternal.

Another point of view that strikes me is the fact that many things in this world cannot be explained using logic and rational thinking. And that some things are just out of our hand. There are things that cannot be controlled nor predicted. And I sort of feared that this views will change me. Because I used to believe that what happen in our lives are effects of our own conduct. I used to believe that there is no such thing as bad luck because we control our own lives.

I was also faced to the the facts that I need to deal with real problems. Like financial problems. How I can make enough money to execute my plans this 2007. Gosh, seems like the start of the year is marked with problems. Not to mention problems in our society that are not leading into solutions.....

So after the holiday I felt a bit confused and powerless. For the first time in my life I feel like there is not much I can do to fix this life that surrounds me. I want to shake loose of these pessimisms that are crawling over me! I just hope the busy daily campus life can fix the mood. Or maybe I need to pray more.